I have a few memories of my Nephew. The first memory I will mention is this Teddy Bear, Teddy bears are a good memory to have because they are something you can hold when you miss having the baby in you arms. I got that bear after Lanes funeral and I sleep with it every night, you can call me a little kid if you want but it is one of the few memories I have of my nephew so I think it is very special. I put it in a baby blanket and an over sized hat because Lane was wrapped up tightly in a baby blanket and a hat that was huge on his tiny head.
Later I will post a picture of this that is actually readable but this is the program that was passed out at Lanes Funeral and what you see is a beautiful poem that Lanes dad wrote for him. A preacher read it at the funeral and I cried and cried and when I got home I read it to my mom ( who was not at the funeral because this is my dads side of the family) and I could barely talk because I was crying so hard the words are beautiful and so true.
The next Memory is the Necklace I wear every day in memory of Lane. Currently I have his Name and Birthday in it but I am probably going to put his picture inside and a picture of me holding him.
The last memory I will tell you about is pictures of Lane. I just posted a picture of my finger covering the camera so it would be dark, The reason I did that is out of respect for my nephew. All the pictures I have are of a dead infant child which is a very sad sight. Lane will always be beautiful in my eyes but I dont want ANYONE to think otherwise if I can control that. I wont be posting pictures of him on this blog because I only show his picture to people who want to see and I have warned them that he is dead in the pictures. I hate that I don't have any live pictures to put on my blog,my computer desktop screen, facebook, and my phone screen saver but I unfortunately do not. It's just that I have seen hateful comments on the internet about still birth/Miscarriage babies on google Images and that Kind of thing. People who make comments like that need to get a life, get a job, and get a girlfriend but most likely no one loves them because they are ignorant and rude and don't know how to treat a Peron. If you happen to look at this blog and want to see lane I can email you a picture though. :)
Those are the few Memories I have for my precious nephew. I wrote his name and a few nice things and put that paper on my wall in my room. I try to create memories because I don't have many. I will never have that many but I shared a great couple of minutes with my nephew holding him and loving him and sobbing over him. Now I hope that he is in heaven watching over me and being my guardian angel. I wonder all the time if he likes me or cares about me or if he doesn't really care about me. I'm not sure and will never be sure but all I can do is continue making memories and praying and loving my baby angel.
R.I.P. Baby Lane Curtis Topping
