The people trying to conceive

I feel like people don't really put as much thought into women who are ttc (trying to conceive) or the women who are just heartbroken over false positive pregnancy tests. That kind of thing is really sad. If you thought you were pregnant and you are attatched to what you thought was your baby then you have a right to grieve and you have a right to treat it as a loss. I dont understand why people don't see it as an important loss or feeling

When your feeling down...

I honestly don't know how to advise you to go through the depression. I have gone through pain like this so many times and it seems like every time I just ask myself why. Why does it have to be this way? Why have I lost so many people in my life? I'll really doubt god during these times, I wonder if god is just a myth (still don't know) its not like I have it all together and I have all of the answers, I just want this blog to be a place to go where maybe some people can grieve together and share stories.

It counts as a loss

I don't care if it's stillbirth, miscarriage, losing an infant, losing a child or an adult, or even if you thought you were pregnant and got attached to your baby you thought you were pregnant with, etc. THEY ALL COUNT AS LOSSES! If it affects you and makes you feel like you have lost someone. Don't worry about what other people say, many people are judgmental of angel mothers, fathers and other family members. People don't understand that losing a baby still counts as loss. I don't know why but it just seems like the world doesn't really understand

Contct me im Here :)

I can't stress enough how much I would love to help someone going through this so please contact me at my email which is Cameronlovesballet@gmail.com if you need ANY advice about ANYTHING even if it doesn't have to do with still birth

My memories of lane

I have a few memories of my Nephew. The first memory I will mention is this Teddy Bear, Teddy bears are a good memory to have because they are something you can hold when you miss having the baby in you arms. I got that bear after Lanes funeral and I sleep with it every night, you can call me a little kid if you want but it is one of the few memories I have of my nephew so I think it is very special. I put it in a baby blanket and an over sized hat because Lane was wrapped up tightly in a baby blanket and a hat that was huge on his tiny head.

Later I will post a picture of this that is actually readable but this is the program that was passed out at Lanes Funeral and what you see is a beautiful poem that Lanes dad wrote for him. A preacher read it at the funeral and I cried and cried and when I got home I read it to my mom ( who was not at the funeral because this is my dads side of the family) and I could barely talk because I was crying so hard the words are beautiful and so true.

The next Memory is the Necklace I wear every day in memory of Lane. Currently I have his Name and Birthday in it but I am probably going to put his picture inside and a picture of me holding him.

The last memory I will tell you about is pictures of Lane. I just posted a picture of my finger covering the camera so it would be dark, The reason I did that is out of respect for my nephew. All the pictures I have are of a dead infant child which is a very sad sight. Lane will always be beautiful in my eyes but I dont want ANYONE to think otherwise if I can control that. I wont be posting pictures of him on this blog because I only show his picture to people who want to see and I have warned them that he is dead in the pictures. I hate that I don't have any live pictures to put on my blog,my computer desktop screen, facebook, and my phone screen saver but I unfortunately do not. It's just that I have seen hateful comments on the internet about still birth/Miscarriage babies on google Images and that Kind of thing. People who make comments like that need to get a life, get a job, and get a girlfriend but most likely no one loves them because they are ignorant and rude and don't know how to treat a Peron. If you happen to look at this blog and want to see lane I can email you a picture though. :)


Those are the few Memories I have for my precious nephew. I wrote his name and a few nice things and put that paper on my wall in my room. I try to create memories because I don't have many. I will never have that many but I shared a great couple of minutes with my nephew holding him and loving him and sobbing over him. Now I hope that he is in heaven watching over me and being my guardian angel. I wonder all the time if he likes me or cares about me or if he doesn't really care about me. I'm not sure and will never be sure but all I can do is continue making memories and praying and loving my baby angel.
R.I.P. Baby Lane Curtis Topping

A picture of Lanes little Feet

The Mold Of Lanes Feet :)

Contact me :)

I can't stress enough how much i would like to help at least on Person who is going through a rough time with still birth or miscarriage or anything in their life. Email me at CameronLovesBallet@gmail.com i would love to listen.:)

Creating Memories for your angel

Here is a list of things you can do Memory box of babies things, pictures etc Display shelf of ultrasound pictures or their teddy bears or their name displayed Babies photograph around you, screensaver in your phone, picture on your desk, screen on your computer, etc Memorial candle, light it in memory of the child Scrap book Slide show of baby photos Create an online memorial website or blog Name a star in your babies memory Special piece of jewelry( I wear a locket with lanes name in it everyday) Window statues of Angels or anything else that reminds you f your baby Teddy bear, hold bear, dress it up like a baby etc

How to deal with that feeling

From my experience with this I have felt that hopeless feeling. You get the feeling that there is nothing you can do to bring him back and you feel defeated. When someone asks me if there is anything they can do to help sometimes I just want to say "can you bring my baby nephew back?" but I know that no one o this earth is able to do that. The only way I have been able to cope with this devastating experience is through memories of lane. On my next post I will share a list of things you can do to keep your angel baby a part of your life ad how to create memories because most family members who aren't the parents of the baby are left with no memories of their angel. The parents usually have the blankets and hats and those sort of things.

CONTACT ME :)

You can email me at Cameronlovesballet@gmail.com I am not a professional in counseling or anything like that but I am here to give you my advice or just listen to what you have to say. I also found a good website with another person you can talk to her name is Marika Barris you can find her at Mybabyangel.com of you can't find it I will email you a link I'm not sure if I am writing The title the right way because I'm doing all of this on my phone, sorry about that. Well email me and Marika for advice and support she has supported me through this tough time and I hope to support Someone going through the same thing :) <3

The point of this blog

This is a blog to remember my angel nephew lane and you can share your stories of miscarriage or stillbirth or any losses You have experienced. The whole point of this blog is to mourn the death of Lane and any other angels who died too soon. Rest in paradise Lane Curtis Topping